FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

There are occasions when you wake up and think 'OH WOW GREAT MORNING' and bang Murphy, the son of a sick gun takes you down with a blow below the freaking belt and even as you are trying to get your breathe back holding your crotch in the most comforting manner, the maggot infested, manure releasing barf of a freaking megalomaniac Murphy, kicks you on your back side and to show his obvious superiority, he kicks you between your legs again!

You, meaning me, are one of those freaking idiots who actually make it a point to park your bike in a legally allowed parking spots, on many occasions you miss half a party while you are diligently looking for another legal parking spot, that your bike would never be towed by half obnoxious illiterate men (who will now be referred to as 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo') who pick up a quota of bikes everyday and more cars most times just to make a point that because you, meaning people like you and me, who can afford a vehicle and the fuel which goes with it are really the reason why he, meaning 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' was born demented with donkey's shit for brains.

And the thing is that the idiot that you, meaning me (right), are you also believe that since you wear a helmet and carry your insurance and registration with a legal driving licence, which you acquired after you turned 18 years old, that you would be in no trouble with the over weight paunchy traffic policemen as you, again meaning me, are also an imbecile to ride your cruiser bike under or exactly at the speed limit... You just are so naive to think that if you do all that is legal you will still be told by snot filled 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' that you had parked your bike on the freaking corner of a no parking zone and the corner is infact the bloody border which makes 0.000002 % of your bike parked illegally! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!

Oh but that's not it... at the very moment when 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' is actually loading up your prized and much loved motorcycle into a truck not meant to hold a bicycle forget a motorcycle costing over 1 lakh Rupees,you still think that you are having a great day!!! It's when you step out of the bank you entered after parking your bike 0.0002% illegally that you realise that you don't see your much precious piece of machinery from where you parked it and right that moment all music goes mute, thoughts of the beautiful women you are besotted by evaporaates, your mouth goes dry and you realise that you have been violated by three very hot bars of iron have been rhythmically moved back and forth inside your posterior very rudely by half imbecile half senile incompletely formed sons of fungi ridden mule dump 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' have towed your bike because they felt that in their immense wisdom of 'what's fair and who deserves what' they believe that your bike is illegally parked on a corner which is actually a border to the illegal parking area and if only I had parked the bike a single devil forsaken lousy millimeter back I would have been cool!

And there method of informing me that my prized and much loved and hard earned two wheeler is not stolen but towed away is by writing in an acronym with a piece of chalk on the road which I am supposed to decipher while keeping in check my indignation, BP, and WHY ME WHY ME? charade. Now, turns out 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' don't give a damn whether I am late for work or i am a patient of rectum bursting with poop and blood when faced with situation of stress and brain function requirement...

SO, SBC and or SBG because the last letter wasn't very clear or coherent. turns out 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' who are competent in destroying someones great day are not hired on the basis of their level of literacy or calligraphy, hell! they aren't even hired for the high negative IQ... Infact, it isn't known on what basis they are hired knowing as they aren't sure whether a board says NO PARKING or otherwise because you know what they can't read!

Turns out it was a G and not C and which stands for 'S bridge' and BG is an accepted acronym for the word bridge or so the knuckle headed 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' PhD holders in acronym creation believe it stands for...

The situation goes beyond ludicrous when I arrive at the police booth where paunches of various shapes and sizes were decked in uniforms of various shades of dirt and the mouths attached to these paunches a little way up had no clue where my towed bike was or when it would get there. What else do you expect from bodies which are actually boasting of just four parts- Hands, Paunch, Fat Ass, a mouth and stubs to help them shuffle from loo to chair! They are medical marvels as they can function without one or two very critical parts, like brains with some logic!

SO once my bike is brought and I am told that my bike was towed away on a technicality which doesn't even exist or is by any wisp or stink of a fart true, I am asked to pay up for four seperate charges and these multiple offences were figured by the paunch and mouth alone without the help of a fart or a disgusting burp! And while I was reeling under the weight and the size of the fine and the miracle of a being functioning without a brain or logic, I realised that I was way beyond firing stages late for my new job and that I was way beyond frustrated to lose my temper and call the paunch a twerp and kick the entire brigade of 'Highly Stinking pair of Tight and Constricted Speedo' in their nuts for telling me that I had parked illegally that I just whipped my wallet out which has more visiting cards than currency notes and gave the paunch what was asked and kicked started and got the hell out from the 'Buffoondom of Freaks' to save my job by begging in defense having done in by the Above mentioned Murphy and his freaking laws!!!

Needless to say I don't think I am employed anymore... Oh no thats not right, I'm employed but feel raped!!!