SHIT!!!
HOLY CRAP AND THE DEFINING MOMENT GALORE!!!


I can't help it... I mean I think my share of life defining moments is bigger than everyone else's...
I mean within days of being literally drowned in puke I was in a state where my dignity and honour and chastity could be questioned and very much maligned.
I mean just why do I experience such defining moments? Well mostly cause I'll be great and you know other things which legends are made of...
SO Just how many times have you needed a hole/ a pot/ foliage.. some water and well if not soap then some leaves(rather big ones!!!)?
What I really want to ask is that exactly how many times did you feel the need to relieve your intestines ruled over anything on the face of the earth?
And when you are just writhing with the gases doing its rounds and you desperately searching for those four walls to keep your glory intact and you don't see any loo around and you go mad... I mean how many times has it happened to anyone else?
FINE!!! FINE!!!
I didn't ask you shameless loose boweled people to raise hands...
Alright! So all of you at one point or the other needed to use the public convenience is desperate hurry... fair enough... but did any of you feel the sensation of losing control of all your being while you were live on national television giving astute (YA RIGHT!) credible (SURE!!! SURE!!! WHY not !!!) factual (Will you stop it!!! You crack me up Since when is NEWS REPORTING WITH THOSE QUALITIES... YOU ARE SURE YOU WERE REPORTING FOR NATIONAL TV AND NOT COLLEGE BULLETIN???) report of how things are at the airport my bowels (don't mispronounce its not BALLS spelt wrong...) took control And with the mike held under a guests nose I started dancing so as to try and cajole my insides to stay ummm INSIDE!!!
YES DELHI AIRPORT HAS NO GOD DAMN toilet where when in emergency you can relieve... I knew it but I flatter myself so much so was certain I won't be bothered by the lack of convenience.. WELL I WAS PROVED WRONG BY MY OWN BLOODY BODY and NO!!! I DIDNT HAVE THE CHANCE TO SAY ETU BODY...
I just finished the live with a look on my face which suggested that I had other important things to do than MY JOB!!!
While I was locating a car to get to a nearest LOO... I received a call... The conversation goes something like this...
CALLER: (He spoke really slowly like he had all the time in the world) pRICKY
pRICKY: (who the fuck would it be if you called pRICKY???) YES????
CALLER: Next live at top of 9 am...
pRICKY: Can't do it... Personal crisis... Have to find a toilet and I think I am going to be very late getting to it...
CALLER: OH... EWWW... ARGH (HANG UP)
I was jumping talking to strangers deliriously hoping against hope that someone could help me to a toilet... I am certain I was jumping much higher than JUMPING JANE (Refer to last post)... I was positively leaping... NO not with joy... I mean I was wearing my brand new LEVIS... I REALLY COULDN'T... The thought itself was painful... I can't I just can't lose the battle now....
SLAM!!!
The car arrived... I banged the door and pleaded/ ordered/ abused the driver to get me to a bloody toilet. The great man promptly pointed me to the vegetation on one side. I ignored the very welcome suggestion. Still trying to keep my dignity... Got to a stinky SULABH TOILET and relieved myself thanking all my GODS and ANCESTORS (GOD BLESS THEIR SOUL...)
THE best FIVE RUPEES I ever spent....
AH!!!! ULTIMATE RELIEF...
PPS: pRICKY is experienced in pooping in DTL (Deep trench latrines) MILITARY
as also in VEGETATION
also behind rocks and on river banks...
even though he has experienced the best, most comfortable and very expensive loos... HE still loves the riverside relieving experience...