Minimum Self's Journey to the alleged Maximum City!!!

I am making another move! I wish I could say I am making another movie but Alas! that's not it. I am moving to a city which petrifies me. It is part of my country but it has a vendetta against those who come from the north of it. So, on occasions the people of the city I am petrified off beat the so called outsiders for taking over what is theirs, the insiders so to say. I am not sure what to make of it all cause I don't give a damn!!!
These groups of spattering insider crowd can't keep me out of a part of country which is mine (by way of being its citizen not out of royalty)... even though I'd be kept out without too much persuasion from other places which are also a part of my country but are always in a constant gun battle... Ya! I am not too much of a brave heart though I guess if in recession I was offered a job in another city where gun battle ensues I may just go there as well, just so I have a tale to tell.
I have been called a story master! Not because I can tell a story beautifully but cause I wove stories to get out of tight spots. It isn't a complimentary title FYI...
After having strayed off the beaten path into bizarre like a blind and buggered sense less Cow (Yes! its a pun, Staying at home has converted me into a likeness of a upright Cow, NO! I don't give milk and grow UP! all you people make new cow jokes... Also yes a guy completely out of shape can also look like a guy which is Cow in Hindi!!!)
Oops! I did it again... No I didn't do a Britney, though she wasn't so bad when she was dancing in school mini skirts... BAH!!! What I meant was that I strayed off the topic I wanted to vent about and the topic was me shifting base to this big hunk of a regionist metropolitan legend.
Now the thing is I would at some point like to give my first impressions about the city but the city has been scripted and talked about at such stretchy lengths that I would have to do a lot of copyright infringing to find words which would express my pseudo intellectual first impression of this city...
But then again... How would that be any different from what you guys read all the time?
:-/

So without further ado... I'd like to invite all those who actually stumbled on this piece because you were bored, or were looking for porn, or wanted to read some good net lit to my tame and utterly passable take on my most recent move!!!

PS: With an absolute straight face laced with no sarcasm or devil may care sneer... I'd like to say if you have read till here your reading is appreciated. If you haven't read well then you won't know how I abuse the NON-READERS!!!