Losing my Mind!

What do you use to get you through bouts of panic? Should you give in? Should you act as if you are oblivious to it? Should you get all philosophical to deal with panic or should you get spiritual?
I am not even sure what 'Spiritual' means or 'meditation' for that matter. I only understand vaguely the difference between religion and spiritualism.
When I hear people say that they meditate to remain calm, focussed, in-control etcetera etcetera it makes me really curious about what is it that goes on in their minds when they are meditating. Are these people more in touch with their spirituality than I am? Or is everyone faking it.
What is fake? IS there really a difference between fake and authentic? What makes something real or unreal? What is the illusion which makes us believe in things as a 'TRUTH'?
Is there really a truth? Does the word mean anything but accepted propaganda? What is it that makes something an accepted way of existence but well rehearsed dramatisation of a well thought out game plan?
Aren't things just two sides of a coin. Each pointless in its existence without the other? Nothing exists as individual or exclusively. Probably why we as humans continuously aim to project an image of 'Assured Individualism'.
Is communication a bane or a boon? Did we complicate things too much because of 'thinking'? Are we in anyway better of than our cave dwelling ancestors?
What is happiness? I can't understand the concept of it. Same as I can't understand the idea of being peaceful or content.
Am I forsaken by illusions?
Am I schizophrenic? or delusional? or maybe bipolar?